Flirting With Disaster
by MakoHeadrush
Summary: Cloud is getting mysterious and annoying texts. Who is the culprit? Rated M for Reno's mouth. Cloud/Reno flirtation.


**Usual disclaimer: Don't own the characters, wish I did - Square Enix owns 'em. This is written for fun and not profit.**

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><p>Cloud glared at his cell phone as it trilled from where it sat on the bar, indicating an incoming text. Tifa eyed the phone warily.<p>

"Are you going to _get_ that?" the barmaid inquired, her tone a bit icy. Cloud was notorious for never answering phone calls in general; it was some small consolation to know that at least it wasn't just her calls he was ignoring.

"No, it's probably another random text," Cloud replied gruffly. "I've been getting those a lot lately. Probably some dumb sweepstakes thing."

"Sweepstakes?" Tifa murmured curiously. She didn't put much stock in contests, but if Cloud had actually won a prize, she thought he'd be foolish not to redeem it. Even if it did turn out to be a scam, Tifa thought it was worth checking out.

"So how do you know it's fake?" she continued. "Did you reply to the text?"

Cloud looked at Tifa incredulously and shook his head. "No...there's no number to reply _to_," he explained. "It's symbols and numbers and a bunch of gibberish. See for yourself," he said, showing the phone to Tifa, shoving it toward her.

Tifa read off 3704$$ from the caller display, and laughed. Turning the phone around, she laughed even harder as she recognized the caller's phone number.

"What's so funny?" Cloud demanded, annoyed. "Come on, Teef - stop teasing. What are you laughing at?"

"Here...read it upside down," Tifa instructed, showing Cloud the display upside down. "When you read it like this - it spells out 'asshole.' And I know who sent it."

"Who?" Cloud demanded, clearly not as amused by this as Tifa was. "Tell me who it is."

"It's from Reno," Tifa revealed, snickering. "I recognized the phone number, from the last time he called the bar."

"Oh really?" Cloud snapped, face coloring with embarrassment and anger. "Well...maybe it's time I replied, then. How about this, asshole..." Cloud mumbled, fingers working the keys as he texted furiously.

"Cloud - ?" Tifa cut in. "Maybe you should cool off a bit, before you - "

Cloud ignored her, and finished his text message, and hit send. "Ha! That'll show him," the swordsman said triumphantly, showing Tifa the outgoing message display, which read _SUCK MY DICK_ in all caps.

" - before you hit send," Tifa finished, rolling her eyes. "Cloud! Reno's just teasing you. As a matter of fact - "

Cloud looked down at his phone, three telltale dots were showing on the display, indicating that a reply was forthcoming. "Well, let's see how he answers that, the asshole," Cloud muttered, staring at the screen. Tifa's eyes darted toward the corner booth; a telltale thatch of red spikes just barely showed over the back of the seat.

"Cloud," Tifa said patiently. "Really, you should put the phone down. Don't send any more texts."

"And why not?" Cloud replied impudently. "I can dish it out just as well as Reno. Oh!" Cloud squawked as he read the incoming reply.

~_Thought you'd never ask :) All caps tho, stop shouting at me cloud _ ~

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Cloud sputtered.

"Gods, Cloud!" Tifa exclaimed. "You are so gods-damned dense sometimes! I think Reno likes you. And by the way," she added, lowering her voice. "He is in the corner booth in the back."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Cloud asked her, exasperated. Tifa glared at him.

"Because you couldn't keep your temper in check for one minute while I told you what the hell was going on!" she hissed. "Don't blame me, Cloud Strife. You're utterly obtuse, and have the patience of a two year old!"

"I'm not the one shouting right now, am I?" Cloud said primly, smirking at Tifa. His face reddened again with the realization that Reno had been the one sending these texts all along. "Hmm...two can play this game," Cloud whispered, half to himself.

"I don't want to be involved," Tifa snapped. She wiped down the bar with a small towel and wound it into a knot, snapping it at Cloud's head.

"Ow!" Cloud shouted. A titter of laughter was heard from the area of the corner booth. "Stop it." He turned away, rubbing his head slightly as he finished typing out his text.

~_that was not a legit offer. fuck off, Turk. Not interested.~ _Cloud snickered, sneaking a look back at the booth. Surely this would enrage Reno enough to make him leave the Seventh Heaven. Cloud felt an odd mixture of annoyed...and flattered, by the Turk's attentions. Was Tifa right? Was Reno actually nursing a crush on Cloud?

Not waiting for a reply, Cloud impatiently fired off another text. ~_if you like me you have a funny way of showing it. stop being such a raging asshole~_

_Ding._ A reply popped up almost immediately.

~_you want to come back here and say that to my face, Strife?~_

This was starting to get fun. Cloud felt his face grow hot, and texted back a reply. ~_dont start this shit. you called me asshole first. asshole~_

Reno turned his head around slowly, barely peeking over the back of the booth. _ Why the hell am I acting like some_ _lovesick twat?_ the Turk asked himself, pondering the insanity of it all. Why indeed was he trying to get Cloud's attention in such an immature fashion?

_Because nobody else has ever played this hard to get._ "Ah, the thrill of the chase," Reno murmured to himself, smirking. The Turk grinned widely, sneaking a look at Cloud every few seconds to see if he was watching - and he was - and texted him back.

_~Shut up, Strife. you know you want me. ever since that day at Healin, you wanted me~_

Cloud laughed out loud at that and quickly texted back. _~oh you mean the day i kicked your ass~ _

_~Fuck you, man. Again, I dare you to say that to my face?~_ Reno texted back in reply. He was grinning and chuckling over his own self-perceived cleverness, staring at his phone and waiting for a reply when he heard a heavy footfall, and saw a shadow pass over him.

Looking up, Reno's face froze comically as he locked eyes with an amused-looking Cloud.

"Reno. You don't know when to quit, do you?" Cloud asked, smiling. He seemed more relaxed, Reno thought, than he'd been in a long time. The Turk gallantly gestured toward the seat opposite him.

"Have a seat...Cloud," Reno said in a boozy, sultry tone. His eyes narrowed as they roamed over the well-defined contours of Cloud's body, and he slammed down the remainder of his whiskey in one deft swallow.

"You're staring at me," Cloud remarked, somewhat redunantly. Reno snorted, amused at the observation.

"Of course I am, yo," Reno replied, arching a ruddy eyebrow. "You're fucking _hot_, Cloud. Why wouldn't I stare?" he added, leering.

Cloud shifted uncomfortably. "Um...I'm not really used to having guys check me out. Not as blatantly as _you_ do it, anyway," he added, smirking.

"Hey, I was trying to be subtle, ya know," Reno scoffed. "With the texts and all."

"You kept calling me an asshole in some kind of fucked up numerical code!" Cloud blurted, shaking his head and laughing. He couldn't help it; Reno was a lot of things, but subtle wasn't one of them.

"Yeah, and looks like Tifa figured it out before you did," Reno pointed out. "So that's me. Smooth, subtle. You won't know what hit you until the morning after, and when you wake up, I'll be naked in your kitchen making ya breakfast."

Cloud spluttered on what was left of his drink. "Uh...okay, Reno. I think I get the point now. That...was not subtle."

"Nope," Reno replied cheerily. "But hey, I don't want to...scare ya. Why don't we start off with drinks? I'll buy us a round."

Cloud shrugged his shoulders, wanting to appear indifferent, but he was honestly intrigued. The flirting by text had lured him in, and now he was curious enough to see where this could lead.  
><em>It could lead to trouble<em>, Cloud warned himself. _Or...it could lead to something pretty damned interesting._

For once in his life, Cloud decided to take the road less traveled by - the seemingly unsafe option. "Okay," he heard himself replying. "I suppose a couple of drinks couldn't hurt..."

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><p><strong>Author's note: I thought about ending this here, but if you want more, please let me know in comments!<strong>


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